Miranda’s Super Seven WWE Returns of 2012

Welcome, everyone, to the debut edition of Miranda’s Super Seven (Thanks to Thomas for help on this…follow him on twitter @MrTommySunshine)! I’m Miranda (of course, I would hope you didn’t expect otherwise) and I’m here to tell you my favorite things! So, basically this is how this thing is going to work: every week, I will reveal my favorite seven of a certain category that’s wrestling related. Here’s the deal though…everything I say here is strictly MY OPINION. This won’t be a list of “the best” of something, or “what everyone wants to hear”, but simply MY favorite things about that topic.

With that said, let me introduce to you the first Super Seven list…my favorite WWE superstar returns of 2012 (thus far)!

Obviously the year is not over yet, and we’ve seen several returns to action. Whether the absence was due to injury or other engagements, most of us either half-expected them to happen or had no idea they were coming. Some of the returns we’ve seen this year have just made me roll my eyes and scoff and say, “I just really don’t care to see Sin Cara back in the ring again”. Others, though, were lucky enough to make it on my Super Seven list, so without further ado, let my first Super Seven list commence!

7. Lord Tensai—Okay, so being that wrestling fan, I’ll go ahead and say it. I knew exactly who Albert was, and I didn’t care for him. So when I found out that Lord Tensai was “debuting”, I—like most of the WWE universe—knew it was Albert/Prince Albert/A-Train simply returning with a new gimmick. When the promos appeared on Raw back in March, teasing his return, I kind of wasn’t looking forward to it. But it didn’t turn out too bad when he squashed everyone when he finally did debut, including John Cena. If you know me, then you know I don’t care for Cena as much as the WWE wants me to. So when he was involved with Cena in the Extreme Rules pay-per-view, I was thrilled! After that, I stopped caring. Ah well.

6. Ryback—Another one I wasn’t expecting, Ryback’s—or, ahem, Skip Sheffield’s—return was one for the books. With very little advertising, it was no regular “debut” for this guy, simply one similar to Tensai’s—a return with a new gimmick! It’s kind of funny, that week I found a picture of Ryback on Tumblr that said “Nexus never happened” underneath it…Skip Sheffield left the WWE as a member of Nexus, and came back as a BEAST. And he proved it in his first match on Smackdown in April, where he defeated a local wrestler by the name of Barry Stevens. This match wasn’t really a one of a kind match, seeing as Ryback destroyed several local wrestlers until just recently. I know Ed is a big fan of seeing the local jobbers get obliterated, and I enjoyed it as well (maybe not as much as Ed…), which earns Ryback’s return the number 6 spot on my list.

5. Kane—Alright, technically Kane’s return was in December of 2011, but I still really liked it, and that’s why it made this list! After being out due to injury (I believe he was out for a few months with a broken or fractured fibula?), WWE began showing promos with Kane wearing a mask, unlike his previous appearance without his mask. When I first saw the videos, I was really excited for his return with the mask since he hasn’t worn a mask since almost 10 years ago (plus, Kane’s just a badass). Upon his return to Raw, he came out to the ring wearing a steel-looking mask over a revamped flaming mask. He proceeded to attack John Cena, to begin a fiery (see what I did there?) feud with Cena, which I totally approved of as well. Excellent…

4. Brodus Clay—I’m not going to lie about this, but when Brodus Clay was Alberto Del Rio’s bodyguard back in the beginning of 2011, I was not too fond of him. Apparently, he took a few months off to do some WWE film, No One Lives. WWE ran the vignettes promoting his return at the end of 2011 but was delayed for several weeks thanks to Johnny Ace. When Clay finally did return in early January, I was speechless. So here I am watching Raw, and all of a sudden this 80’s disco music hits and out come these ladies—the Funkadactyls, Cameron and Naomi—dancing and then Brodus Clay comes out dancing. I had no idea what was going on. I thought, you know, maybe this was just for his return? Naw, it’ll only happen this once…but NOPE! The “Funkasaurus” was here to stay, as was his silly entrance. And that first night, yes, it was very odd to see this nearly 400 pound man dancing and gyrating. But after his squash matches, I was satisfied. His matches and dancing entertained me, and that’s what matters!

3. Christian—Oh boy. This man and his injuries! First returning in February, Christian was definitely still a heel, and took sides with John Laurinaitis’s team at Wrestlemania XXVIII. However, he was once again injured and unable to compete for a while. At this year’s Over the Limit pay-per-view, Christian made a surprise return in the Battle Royal match which determined who would be granted a title match for either the IC or the US Championship. When his music hit as the last entrant for the match, I flipped out! To make things better, he won the Battle Royal and the title match for the Intercontinental Championship. I loved Christian when I was a child (before he went to TNA) and ever since I began watching WWE again. His return at OTL has definitely rightfully earned my third favorite return of the year.

2. Rey Mysterio—Let me start off by saying that when I began watching WWE again, back in about 2008/2009, Rey Mysterio was one of the first guys my younger brother HAD to show me. The master of the 619 is my brother’s absolute favorite wrestler, and I love him as well. When he was injured last year by Alberto Del Rio at a house show, both my brother and I were pretty bummed about it. When word got around he was going to return earlier this year, then it was announced that he failed wellness and was slapped with a 60-day suspension! I counted down the days till he was allowed to come back, and when he still didn’t, I was disappointed, but kind of forgot about it. When Mysterio’s music hit two Mondays ago, my brother and I jumped up and freaked out! Our boy was back and we weren’t even expecting it! Of course, his return consisted of saving Zack Ryder from Alberto Del Rio, the one who cause him to miss so much action in the first place. I wasn’t as thrilled that he would be going through another feud with ADR, but I was just as happy that he was back!

1. Chris Jericho—And we are down to my absolute favorite return of the year! The honor goes out to Chris Jericho, for several reasons. I remember his WWE debut to this day, and I loved him when I was a child. I didn’t watch too much WCW before he came to the WWE, but I enjoyed his performances, and all his promos and everything he’s ever said or done. He’s up there as one of my favorite wrestlers of all time (and that’s a different list). So, I know he was out of action in late 2010, and I’m pretty sure it was Fozzy-related, but that’s about all I know. Well, when the cryptic videos began playing late last year, I had NO idea who it would be, and seeing as I was barely introduced to the IWC around that time, I paid no attention to the spoilers that were floating around the net. Hell, I didn’t want to hear the spoilers! After about two months of the vignettes, we were finally granted the day of the character’s debut or return or whatever it was! The January 2, 2012 episode of Raw was the end of the world as we knew it! The lights shut off, and amidst the darkness were the flashing lights that were from Jericho’s flashy jacket! His music hits and the crowd (and I’m pretty sure the people at home as well) goes insane! He runs down the ramp, around the ring, jumps inside the ring, looks around, and makes his way back up the ramp, all without saying a word! It was all brilliant and it was, in my opinion THE best return of the year.

That’s it, you guys! The first ever Super Seven is complete, and it’s been fun so far! Before I wrap this up, I also have an honorable mention for this list…a return that didn’t quite make me cringe or say “OH MY GOSH I LOVE IT!”

Super Honorable Mention: Layla—After tearing her ACL and MCL in May 2011, Layla was out of action for nearly a year due to a required surgery. She made her surprise return at this year’s Extreme Rules pay-per-view, in a match against Nikki Bella for the Divas title, after the original challenger—Beth Phoenix—was not medically cleared to compete. I, as well as A LOT, if not most of the WWE Universe, was expecting and hoping that Kharma would be returning to beat the snot out of the Bellas like she had promised. So, it kind of killed all hopes for that match when Layla entered the arena instead. I don’t mind Layla, in fact, I like her a bit, but she’s not my favorite diva (once again, a different list). However, her return and victory of the Diva’s title was enough to award her return an honorable mention!

Well, that’s all for today, folks! That you very much for joining me, and I hope it was an enjoyable ride! Don’t forget to keep an eye out for my next column—whether it be The Front ROW, or next week’s edition of my Super Seven—and be sure to check out all the other great columns on the site! Until next week, I’m Miranda. Stay classy, folks… *cue theme music*

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